BTMS

Hello Experts,
Much thanks in advance. I am trying to make a conditioner with my favorite cationic, BTMS. Problem is, I am sensitive to cetearyl alcohol. BTMS 50 (with cetyl alcohol) makes my a hair a frizzy mess (likely from butylene glycol). I'm trying to get my hands on a BTMS ONLY product so I can mix with cetyl alcohol on my own. Logistically, does anyone know where I could purchase this?

Also, I have tried behentrimonium chloride with lot's of stinging and irritation....hard to imagine they are so different and pH is listed as the same.
Thank you so much in advance!

I am a animator and have worked with multiple firms
You can check Mobile banking app video one of my work.

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